A few years ago I was mentally in a bad place. I was having a real pity party feeling sorry for myself. It’s out of character for me because I’m usually spewing insane amounts of awesomeness. (cough) This time I wasn’t feeling so awesome or smiling. In fact, I felt pretty crappy. Trapped in circumstances beyond my control. It wasn’t one particular thing, it was the combination of many. We moved to a new place, my marriage was struggling, my husband lost his job, we were dealing with a law suit with a corporate giant, we lost money in real estate and we had a baby in NICU that we were not prepared for. I remember the moment clearly. I was sitting on the floor in my bedroom. I heard my three small children bickering over a toy downstairs and all I could think about was Maggie, my fourth child. She was my newest addition that was stuck in the NICU with PPHN. She was the sickest baby in the unit. I was not allowed to hold her. I picked up my phone and called the NICU. I thought an update would ease my mind. It didn’t. I hung up with the nurse. Nothing has changed was my update. Great. She’s still sick as hell and I’m still here….trapped in the chaos. I was surrounded by cardboard boxes that were stacked to the ceiling. The movers dropped them there and they didn’t move for a month. Life was tailspinning. I tried to motivate myself because it felt like the right thing to do. I got up and found a pair of scissors to open a box. I cut the masking tape off and inside I found at least thirty sweatshirts. I grabbed the one on top and folded it perfectly. I needed order in my life. A closet seemed to be a good place to start. I had a vision of stacking each sweatshirt in a neat pile but when I walked into the closet I was overwhelmed by the mountain of boxes blocking my way. I threw my folded sweatshirt on the floor, flopped on my unmade bed and cried my eyes out. It was too much.
Then God did something. He sprinkled good people into my life when I needed them most. Actually, they were people that have always been there but this time I opened my eyes. I looked around and realized that I wasn’t alone. Everyone has a story..everyone. Maybe it’s the loss of a loved one, a disease, a divorce or a job loss but every single person in your life has something. We all walk through thick, heavy mud at some point in our lives. Sometimes we get so buried in mud and escaping on our own seems impossible. Like so many, I needed help. I needed a firm, genuine grasp of a strong hand to pull me out. At one point, I also needed a couple of hands behind me to nudge me forward but guess what? I got out.
Now I’m standing on the other side watching friends and loved ones walk through their own mud. I often reach out to those I love and care about. Sometimes it’s all they need and I know first hand how much it helps. Once you’ve been through it, you walk more cautiously. The muddy bank is slippery. I believe the expert’s call this the cycle of life. And for every human life, there is a truck load of bullshittery (great word) dumped in every garden of goodness.
As women, we are too judgmental. Ladies, enough of the jealousy, cattiness and competition. We should help our friends when they are down and celebrate them when they are up. That’s why I am starting a new segment called She’s all that and a bag of chips. Yes, I know…what a title, right? So 1990 awesome! Let’s be honest. It’s one thing to be All that but when you throw in a bag of chips; things get REAL! Each week I will celebrate chicks in my life that deserve a pat on the back. It’s a spotlight on everyday women who go above and beyond and make the rest of us scratch our heads wondering how they do it. Each one is special and I have chosen to celebrate them for different reasons. Some are survivors and some are warriors. Some are completely selfless and some are leaders. One thing is for certain, they all deserve a little love. Join me next week and let’s all hug it out.
If you know of a female who deserves some sugah let Mrs. D know about it. Send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org telling me who it is and why you think she’s all that and a bag of chips.