I’m An Amazing Liar

I constantly lie to my kids to get them to do what I want.  I’m getting so good at it that some might consider it a mommy super power.  They were flying out of my mouth this morning like it was my job. I spewed three absolutely effortless lies in less than thirty minutes.  I know lying is wrong but what if there is a hidden positive lesson?  Does that make it better?  For instance:

LIE #1

I told Maggie that if she didn’t stop whining, the window would break and all the squirrels would come inside and sit with her while she ate her breakfast.

squirrel at table

*nom-nom-nom-nom* “I’d like to make a toast to the girl who made this possible” *belch* “Cheers Maggie!”

How creepy is that?  And what kind of mother comes up with that shit?  I’m not sure where that came from but it worked.  I hate whining.  I bet in hell there are kids who constantly whine.

LIE #2

I told Teagan that if she didn’t eat her waffle, her teacher would be able to see that she was hungry and she might not move up the behavior chart today.

Behavior Chart

Make better choices Teagan!  Eat your waffle!

Teagan aims to please, so she chowed down.  C’mon?  Every child should eat breakfast and she needed to focus.

LIE #3

I inspected Molly’s teeth after she brushed them for approximately 3 seconds.  Then…the lie…The tooth fairy watches you brush your teeth, ya know?  She KNOWS that you forget the molars. There is no way you will get money for those when they fall out.   Why would Peppermint leave you a reward for a yellow tooth?  This worried Molly and it should.  She ran back upstairs and brushed again.


I’m watching you Molly!

Am I alone here? Do other mom’s tell lies?  What’s the biggest lie you have ever told your children?

2 thoughts on “I’m An Amazing Liar

  1. The tooth fairy has a huge responsibility. Can you imagine the drama if she forgot to leave money under the pillow? GASP! These children need to earn their money. Spread the word. :)

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