I am a mother of four children. Two of them are elementary school students and I live in Connecticut. We were lucky. The shooting did not happen in our school but you better believe my heart dropped when I saw the news ticker come across the television on Friday. The odds that it could be my child’s school quickly narrowed to a possible reality. Frantically, I investigated which school fell victim to the evil gunman. It was not our town and it was not our school. Thank God! I took a small breath of relief knowing that my babies were safe but almost simultaneously cried for the pain of the other mothers who were not as lucky. The loss of a child is a horrific thought. The murder of a child is unfathomable and the murder of 20 children and 6 adults inside a school is disgusting. It makes me physically sick to my stomach. I have sobbed all weekend. My heart is broken. Those sweet babies might as well have been my own. I was THAT upset.
I think most of America feels the same way I do. How will we all get through this?Sometimes in a crisis, children have the best insight. They don’t get caught up in the deep sadness and the anger that we feel as adults. Molly’s bed time prayer touched my heart Friday night. Somehow she found a silver lining in a very dark cloud. She said her normal prayer and then added something special at the end. [read below]
“Hey Norman. I know you can hear me. Will you please play with those 20 kids coming into heaven? I know you love kids and they probably would love to play with a nice dog. Thanks buddy. Oh- and do all your tricks for them. That will make them smile. Amen”
Of course, this made me cry. I cried because it was a beautiful image. It made me feel peaceful. It was the only moment of peace I felt all day. Molly comforted me. “It’s OK Mom. Heaven is a nice place. Actually it’s a great place.” She paused for a moment and looked at me with her big brown eyes. I tried not to cry but my eyes filled with tears. “Are you sad for their Mom’s?” she asked. I could not speak. I could only smile a half-smile. I actually never answered her question but she was right. I am so sad for the families who lost loved ones to such a senseless crime.
Seriously? Kids are wise beyond their years. They really are. How does she know what I am feeling at age 7? I wiped the tears away and gave her a kiss goodnight. “I love you Molly. Your prayer was very sweet and I bet you are right. Norman will make those kids smile.”
The image of Norman playing with an entire classroom of children got me through the weekend. Her prayer helped me quiet my anger and sadness. Unfortunately, evil reared his ugly head in a very public way. I need to restore my faith in humanity and prove to myself that there are more good people than bad. I will thank the people in my life who give me so much. I will love the people in my life who I cannot live without. I will offer a hand to those who need it and I will live everyday as if it’s my last. We have to stick together and keep the faith. Thank you Molly for guiding me.