Crabby Abby

We all know one.  They are moms that leave comments on social media sites that make them feel superior in some weird mom way.  They can take anything positive and turn it into something dreadful.  I call them Crabby Abby’s. It’s the reverse of Dear Abby.  You don’t ever want to ask Crabby Abby anything because she will sprinkle her misery dust all over you.

Here are my top 10 classic comments from a Crabby Abby:

10. There is an adorable photo of a baby smiling and Crabby Abby must give her two cents:  “He won’t be so cute when he’s up at 2am.” Thanks Abby, way to bring the crowd down.

9. There is a picture of a gorgeous engagement ring and amongst the “congratulations” comments Crabby Abby rears her ugly head with her opinion on the matter. “Idiot!” 

8.  There is a conversation among parents of 2 year olds.  They are venting about the terrible 2’s and Crabby Abby ruins any hope for a brighter future “3 is so much worse!”  

7. A friend announces the birth of their 3rd child and she kills the joyful moment with a thought-provoking  “Are you done yet?” 

6.  A photo is posted of a new mom who is happily walking through the park pushing a set of twins.  Any sense of accomplishment for getting out of the house with 2 newborns is crushed with Crabby Abby’s perspective “Good luck with that”

5.  A photo of a perfect hand-made fall wreath is posted and the compliments are overwhelming.  Jealousy takes over Crabby Abby as she tries to deflate the excitement.  “Whatever? She totally stole that from Pinterest!”

4.  A pregnant friend claims that she is going to try a natural delivery and Crabby Abby belittles her with “Why bother?  You don’t get a prize ya know?”

3. Basically she one-ups any parent complaining about anything with her ol’ standby “Just wait until they are teenagers.”

2. A friend shares a recipe for a homemade organic pizza and Crabby Abby doesn’t budge “Why on earth would you make pizza when you can order it?”

1. A friend is boasting about losing her pregnancy weight and finally getting back into her pre-pregnancy jeans and Crabby Abby makes sure the celebrating is brief. “Yes honey.  We all did that with the first one.”

 

Ya know what sucks about Crabby Abby?  She’s brutally honest and she leaves very little room to argue with her.  I love honesty but c’mon sista.  We don’t need people slitting their wrists.

 

4 thoughts on “Crabby Abby

  1. I love it and I know her! Crabby Abby sees that my older kids still hug me in public and says, “THAAAT won’t last much longer!!!”

Comments are closed.