Hello?

I’m not sure what’s going on lately but my iPhone has been dropping more calls than usual and quite frankly it’s pissing me off.  Clearly, AT&T is testing my patience.

8:17am The house is quiet.  2 kids are on the bus heading to school and the other 2 are sleeping.  I make myself a warm cup of coffee. Ahhhhhh!   It is a wonderful cup of joe but doesn’t it deserve some good conversation?  I grab my iPhone and call my mom/dad.  I love my parents.  We chat almost everyday. Normally for about 15 minutes.  It’s my routine.   Usually, there are screaming children in the background so quiet conversation is special. I make my “special” call.

8:18am [ring,ring,ring,ring]

Mom:[a soft, chipper voice answers] “Hello?”

Me: “Hey Mom!  It’s Ronda.  How are you?”

Mom: “We just sat down for breakfast. Can I call you right back when we are done?”

Me: “Sure, no problem.” [I know not to mess with their breakfast routine.]

Mom: “Thank you.  W’ell talk soon.”

Since I can’t seem to relax, I unload the dishwasher.  Reload it.  Pay some bills and by some miracle both girls are still sleeping. I’m staring into space when I am miraculously saved by my phone.

9:23 [ring ring] I answer: “Hey mom!” [I love to answer the phone like that. She is a very hip 70 year-old but I think caller ID kinda annoys her. (Shhhh don’t tell her I said that!).  Ya know what?  There are no surprise phone calls anymore. Remember back in the day when you had no idea who was on the phone until you actually said “hello?”  Aw, the anticipation and excitement was intense.  I donno, I can’t complain.  My caller ID still saves me daily. Example 1: “I think I’ll ignore this call.  The credit card company can leave me a voice mail.”  Example 2: “Hang on.  Let me grab this call, it’s the school nurse. Example 3:  “Um? Yeah? You must have the wrong number dude. I don’t know anyone with a 306 area code.”]  Good grief…where was I?  FOCUS..Ah Yes…my mom called.

Mom: “Heeeelllllo? I am returning your call.  How are the Doherty’s?”

Me: [giggling] Hey Mom.  Everyone is good. Enjoying my coffee in peace. I thought I’d give you a call.

Mom:  “Are the girls STILL sleeping?”

Me: “They are indeed!”

Mom:”What are your plans for the day?”

Me: “I have to get groceries and take Mags to the Dr for her 18 month appointment. Then I…”

Mom:[interrupting] “Hello?  Ronda?”

Me: “Yes?” [awkward pause]  “Mom?  I’m Here!”

Mom: “Ronda?” [giggling..she feels like she is talking to nobody] ” Roooooooonnnndddda?”

Me: [louder]“Mom!!! Yes!  I can hear you!” [I frantically move around the room looking for better reception]” I’m here!  Mom?” [I hear her breathing]

Mom:  “Hey? There you are?  I thought I lost you for a minute.” 

Me: “No, I was there the whole time.  I heard everything you said. I’m not sure what happened.  Can you hear me alright now?”

Mom: “Yes. Now I hear you loud and clear.” [she pauses to make sure the call doesn’t mysteriously drop again] “What are you doing today?”

Me: “I need to buy groceries and [I walk to the sink and drop my coffee cup in it] then I…”

Mom:[She interrupts] “Uh oh? Ronda?  Are you there? It’s happening again.”

Me: “I’m here.  Can you hear me?” [Louder now.  As if that helps?]  “Mom!  Can you hear me?” [Why did I move?  Ughh.  Again, I frantically scramble to find the one spot in my home that has decent reception]

Mom: “Where are you?  Hello? Hello? I can’t hear anything?”  [she talks to my Dad] “Ronnie?  I think I lost the call.” 

Me: [yelling into the phone]“No Ronnie she didn’t!”

Dad: [My parents are now having a full conversation like I am not there.] “Can you hear her?

Mom: “No, She was there a second ago.  I’m going to give it a minute.  Rooonda?”

Dad: [Trying to help my mom through this technical glitch. He is always mom’s voice of reason]: “Are you sure it’s not your phone? Is your battery charged?”

Mom:“Yes.  full battery”

Me: [I try to interject and end the madness but she can’t hear me] “Mom?  OMG!  I’ll call you back OK?”

Dad: [Obviously he is getting increasingly aggravated with the situation.] “I don’t know how you have the patience for this crap.  Honey? Why don’t you hang up and she can call you back when she gets better service?” [Mmmm? Not a bad plan Dad but I’m not sure I like your tone?]

Mom: “Well, this happened once already and it resolved quickly. I hate to hang up.  It’s hard for her to find a quiet moment to talk during the day.  I can wait a few more minutes.” [My God I love her loyalty]

Me: “Mom!  I can hear you.”  [I’m leaning toward the kitchen window in a very awkward position.]  “Can you hear me?”

Mom: [perky and thrilled that the wait has paid off] “Oh there you are!! Hang on just a minute Ronda.” [She covers the phone and yells to my Dad] “She’s back Ronnie!” [now back to me] “OK, my goodness.  Something is going on with this connection this morning.”

Me: “Yes, I know.  So freaking aggravating. Mom,  I’m so sorry but I have to go. The girls woke up. Mags is screaming.” [I walk upstairs to greet Maggie.]

Mom: [connection lost again]  “Hello?  Ronda? Ok..I can’t hear you so I’m hanging up now.”

Me: [Oh dear Lord, this call was useless] “OK, I gotta go anyway.”

[hang up phone]

Mom sends a follow-up text: “I never heard what you were doing today?”

Me: [A reply text ] : “Errands. Got my hands full now.  Cooking breakfast. Nice chatting with you this morning.[damn cell service]  “Love you.”

Mom: “Love you too!  Have a great day!”

 

Our morning would have gone much smoother if I sent a simple text but sometimes I like to hear her voice.  I pay AT&T $189 every month for unlimited aggravation.  Painful.

Repin this “Hello?” Badge to Pinterest if you too are a victim of dropped calls.  *Please read last weeks blog to further explain my “been there, done that” badges.*

 

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9 thoughts on “Hello?

  1. I think this only happened on the phone with moms. My conversations with her go the EXACT same way. Everytime. But only when I’m on the phone with my mom

  2. I cannot believe your kids are still sleeping at 9:23 am on a week day (or any day, for that matter!) — I am disgruntled, and I did not even have a dropped call.

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