You know you are on vacation when…

This week is family vacation week for Mrs. D.   What does that mean?  It means the kids are running wild and having a blast.  All things “normal” are thrown out the window.  It’s that special time each year that the kids will remember forever.  They have no schedule and eat way too much sugar.  They all get to sleep in the same room and stay up late giggling.  It’s the stuff that makes having siblings fun.  Inevitably, they will be forced to adjust to circumstances that are beyond anyones control when you travel.  There is usually an abundance of whining and I think I have asked them to “be flexible” at least a million times.   Aaaaaa….yes.  It is no secret that a vacation for the kids means that the black circles under my eyes are worse than ever.  I have listed the top 10 things that I found myself saying this week that assure me that “yes…we are indeed on vacation!”

10.  It’s ok sweetie.  Just sit in the water and pee.  It’s like a big toilet that gets “flushed” by the waves.

9.  At least they are getting a vegetable.  Ketchup is a tomato, right?

8.  Here.  Take this Benadryl.  It’s excellent for those bug bites.  (wink wink)

7.  Don’t feed the mother effin seagulls!

6. Who wants a donut? Hot dog? Pop Tart?

5.  Oh my….when was the last time you brushed those teeth?

4. If you can’t carry it..you can’t bring it!

3. Yes dear.  I know.  We are at the beach.  You are gonna get sandy.

2.  What do you mean you are hungry?  We just ate.

1.  Hug and act like you love each other.

Let’s face it.  Going on vacation is like giving birth.  I’m exhausted but I want another.  What the hell is wrong with me?